Clyde's Guide To Bromance
by xSaphireRainsx
Summary: Clyde wants to renew his bromance with Craig.Without luck he decides to write a guide to bromance for himself and for whoever Craig's new friends are.But he ends up getting sidetrackted and constantly babbles about how Craig abandoned him and other stuff
1. Prologue

_**Prologue.**_

Let me tell you something, no one. Absolutely no one has a better bro than me, Clyde Donovan. Sure Craig is an asshole who likes to flip me off and reject my bro hugs, but I and he are way better bros than fucking Stan and Kyle. Stan and Kyle can go die in a hole. That and Craig needs to shut up about Bebe being the only person I fucked. What about him, huh? Ever since that girl who Bebe hates moved here, I think her name's Ace or something stupid, he hasn't dated anyone. Fuck! Lizzy Traylor was the last girl he dated and she moved away in 6th grade. 6th god damn grade.

Oh and what's up with my bro hanging around Kenny and Ace all the time? Huh? He's MY bro, not Kenny's. So someone give me a damn good reason for Craig to hang around them! You don't have one, exactly. Craig's just being a taco-hating faggot as usual. I tried talking to Token about this but he just rolled his eyes and told me he couldn't understand me because I was crying too hard, great advice, Token!

Then I tried talking to Bebe but then she kept asking me about when I was going to give her the new pair of shoes. That's when it hit me! I should give Craig a pair of shoes! So, I was going over to my Bro to give them these shoes that Bebe really liked so I figured Craig would too, right? Well I guess I was wrong, so wrong that Craig flipped me off, threw the bag down and walked away. I'm going to take a guess that bros don't like shoes from other bros. He wouldn't even wear the shirt I gave him that said Bro #2.; because I'm bro 1 of course.

At least I've dated more girls than Craig has, the poor bastard. 1 for Clyde and 345 for Craig; I think I'm gaining up on him.

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><p>AN: I've recently fallen in love with the bromance of Craig and Clyde. Thus Clyde's guide to Bromance is here! I hope you enjoy it and yes, I mentioned my OC for the hell of it. XD Love you guys, R&R.


	2. Steps to a poptart known as Craig

Chapter 1-

Steps to the poptart called Craig.

Alright; I've seemingly given up on Craig realizing what awesome bro's we are, so I have decided to write a guide for anyone who attempts to become Craig's bro. But trust me, me and him will always be the best bro's ever.

Step 1:

When it comes to Craig he can be like a poptart. On the outside; hard and crunchy, but on the inside its where all the feeling and flavor is. Craig is so used to being thrown away because no one wants the second poptart in the pack; they just want me. So, he must decide that he doesn't want to live with the feeling of rejection! Show no mercy! But when he watches scary movies don't let him scream like a baby and act like you're his teddy bear. No matter how much he says he won't, he will. You know what I don't get? Why he always calls me a fatty. I am not a fatty, it isn't my fault that tacos are very delectable and delicious.

Step 2:

Craig's an asshole.

Step 3:

See step 2.

Step 4:

Now, I know that Craig's an asshole but don't call him it. He will flip you off and stomp all over your bro shirts.

Step 5:

Don't give Craig a bro shirt. Especially if he's bro 2, apparently he was butt hurt about being number 2.

Step 6:

Don't say that his sister is hot. He doesn't like it and will kick you in the balls, and it hurts. It really fucking hurts, dude.

Step 7:

Don't pull on his hat stringies or mess with his poofball on his hat no matter how fluffy it may look. Don't do it man, don't do it.

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><p>AN: Sorry that the chapters so short! :/ Well I love you guys, thanks for reading the next installment of Clyde's guide to Bromance!


	3. Matching Tuxes

Chapter 2-

Matching Tuxes.

That's it, I'm throwing in the towel. That douche bag isn't worth it, and besides, no one would publish this anyways. You'd think that even though there's been what? Two chapters of this totally awesome guide, that someone would be like "Hell yeah, let's publish this bitch." Oh no, though. They all think that I just need to get a life and come out of the closet. What's that supposed to mean? I tried asking Bebe, but she just told me that we needed a break. Next thing I knew she was a lesbian! Now, I'm not saying that's hot, but she never answered my question. That's when I knew that I needed to do something to get Craig to realize that we're meant to be bro's. Not mother fucking friends, that was like a demotion. Anyways, I have more steps for you, Kenny. I hope you're happy of taking my best bro. I hope you're happy.

Step 8-

Be the best mother fucking bro a bro could ask for. Because that's what bros you can't be as good as me. I'm the best.

Step 9-

Don't make Craig eat Mexican food. He'll throw it at you then walk out. Your bro-date will be the worse bro-date ever. We can have a bro-date though. That'll show Craig.

Step 10-

Never make fun of the girl he likes, he'll bitch slap you like a pimp. Let me tell you, it stings for days. It's almost like being raped, except it's with a hand and it only slapped you. Shit sucks.

Step 11-

Don't get matching tuxes for prom. That was my idea, and I'll still do it god dammit. Me and him will match and be the snazziest guys there.

I'm going to go eat tacos, and when I come back, Craig better be my bro again. I'm warning you Kenny, three-thousand times over with the taco queen. (Which is me by the way)

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><p>AN: I finally updated. Woah. MIRACLES. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this short chapter. Most chapters are short now that I think about it..huh. Anyways, it would REALLY make me happy if you liked me on facebook! .com/pages/XSaphireRainsx/213701245398366 It'll give you when I'll update, because I know it took me a while this time, and what not. :3 ALSO YOU GET TO TALK TO ME. How exciting.


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